You know, when my husband and I separated, I really didn't know what to do.
I had finished my interior design course thinking that was going to show me what came next. Instead, I still felt lost.
I felt like a failure.
I didn't know what I was supposed to do with my life.
So, I did what we say in the Army—I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and started figuring out what to do next.
Except there was another part of the story.
I was angry.
I Was Angry With God
I went to church, and yes, I was angry with God.
Life just kept throwing stuff at me. Every time I thought I might finally get ahead, something else seemed to happen.
My youngest son and his girlfriend were staying with me at the time. There was a lot of stress going on in my life, and I remember thinking:
There has to be more to life than this.
I kept asking God, Why can't I just have some peace in my life?
Have you ever felt that way?
You believe in God, but at the same time you're wondering why He keeps allowing life to be so darn hard.
That's where I was.
Then one day in church, I heard the song “Nobody.”
And something happened.
I felt like I heard a voice telling me what I was supposed to do:
Tell people they aren't nobody.
Tell them they matter.
Tell them they have a purpose.
Not everyone hears a voice like that.
But I did.
I believe everyone has a purpose, or we wouldn't be here. Some people spend their entire lives trying to figure out what that purpose is.
That day in church, I felt like I had finally found mine.
But there was one little problem.
I had absolutely no idea what to do with it.
Finding My Purpose Was Only the Beginning
I knew I wanted to help people understand that they mattered and that they were here for a purpose.
But how exactly was I supposed to do that?
I started looking online to find out how to become a life coach.
I learned that Kansas didn't require me to have the certifications I was looking for.
But that wasn't good enough for me.
If I was going to tell people I could help them, I wanted to make sure I knew what I was talking about.
So I started taking classes.
I earned certifications in Professional Life Coaching, Happiness Coaching, and Master Life Coaching. Then I followed those with training as an NLP—Neuro-Linguistic Programming—Master Practitioner.
I figured with the training, certifications, and everything I had experienced in my own life, I would be able to help people discover that they were here for a reason.
I had the certifications.
I had the life experience.
I knew why I wanted to help people.
There was only one little problem:
I still didn't know exactly how I was going to do it.
So I Kept Building
I started talking to people on Facebook and other social media platforms, trying to figure out where to go next.
Along the way, I met some great coaches who wanted to teach me.
So I learned.
And learned some more.
I found a great coach and mentor who helped show me the way.
Then I started building programs.
That's how the PIVOT Program began.
As I thought about everything I wanted to help people do, the pieces started coming together.
Purpose.
Intention.
Vision.
Opportunity.
Transformation.
I wanted to help people discover their purpose, live with intention, create a vision for what could be next, recognize opportunities, and transform into whoever they wanted to become.
And suddenly I could see something I couldn't see when I was sitting in that church asking God why my life couldn't just be peaceful.
I didn't receive the entire plan that day.
I received the purpose.
I had to build the path toward it.
And No, It Didn't Happen Overnight
Did all of this happen overnight?
No way.
It took months.
Then years.
Then some more years. 😂
Shoot, I'm still developing.
I'm still learning.
I'm still building my business.
And I'm going to tell you something else because I don't want to pretend that finding your purpose means everything magically falls into place:
I don't have coaching clients yet.
There. I said it.
I could leave that part out and make the story sound prettier.
But it wouldn't be the truth.
I'm still building that part.
What I have done is write books.
I've spoken on stages and online.
I've created programs and workbooks.
I've shared my experiences.
I've encouraged people.
I've built PIVOT.
I've kept showing up.
And somewhere along the way, I realized something important:
My purpose isn't measured by the number of clients I have.
Coaching is one way I can live my purpose.
Writing is another.
Speaking is another.
This blog is another.
Every time I remind someone that they matter, that their story isn't over, or that they can PIVOT and begin again, I'm living a piece of that purpose.
Maybe We Have Purpose Backward
Sometimes I think we imagine purpose as this giant destination.
Once I find my purpose, I'll know exactly what to do.
I don't think it works like that anymore.
Maybe purpose isn't a destination.
Maybe it's a direction.
You discover something that matters deeply to you, and then you start walking toward it.
You try something.
You learn something.
You mess something up.
You PIVOT.
You try again.
And eventually you look behind you and realize:
Oh my goodness. I've been building this thing the whole time.
That's what happened to me.
I didn't walk out of church that day with Pivot Coaching 4 Restarting U, a PIVOT Program, books, speaking experience, blogs, or some perfectly organized business plan.
I walked out knowing one thing:
People need to know they aren't nobody.
Everything else had to be built.
Step by step.
What Are You Building Toward?
Maybe you know your purpose.
Maybe you don't have a clue yet.
Or maybe you know there's something more for you, but you haven't figured out what it looks like.
Don't convince yourself you're behind because you don't have the whole thing mapped out.
I didn't.
I still don't.
I know more today than I did when I started, and I trust myself more than I did then.
But I'm still building.
I'm still learning.
I'm still PIVOTing.
And maybe that's the biggest lesson I've learned about purpose:
I didn't find my purpose and arrive at my destination.
I found my purpose and started building my way toward it.
And I'm still building.
🔥 Rising isn't optional—it's who we are.
If you're standing at a PIVOT point in your own life and wondering what comes next, come visit me at tamaraleapatrick.com.
Your purpose doesn't need a perfect plan.
Sometimes it just needs a first step.